if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
