Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
