CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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