its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
