i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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