It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
