Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
