Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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