this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize