I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
