walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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