yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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