You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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