How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
