You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my being single is dangerous.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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