And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
