i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
