True but thats because hes a fetus.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
