the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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