I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
