Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize