She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I see more hoeing in ur future
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
