i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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