I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
