I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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