Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize