I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
