The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
