last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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