Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
