please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So vagazzling was a success
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