If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dont even know how to be here
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
