i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
