2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
