Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just invented taco cereal.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
