Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
