it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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