Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
