Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
