she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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