In the future we'll all be gay
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
