I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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