apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
