I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
