Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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