i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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