so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
