Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
