We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
