Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
