In the future we'll all be gay
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
