she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He did a backflip because drugs
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
