You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
