he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
