Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
