THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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