no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
