Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
