like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
