Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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