i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
